Geeking Out
by ConnerWithARailgun
Summary: After coming into contact with Roger's extra-terrestrial excrement, Steve Smith and his friends find themselves developing fantastic superhuman powers. Convinced they are destined to become a fighting force for justice, Steve leads his friends to become superheroes, and battle crime in Langley Falls. But as the power goes to the boys heads, both morals and friendships are tested...
1. Chapter 1

**Geeking Out  
Episode 1**

* * *

"Ugh, Franny, do we have any tequila and cream cheese? I'm serving cantaloupe upstairs and I don't really know what goes with that. I'm kinda shooting in the dark here." Roger Smith, the diminutive extraterrestrial harboured by the all american family, the Smiths. Today, Roger was wearing his Cousin Phil outfit.

Francine Smith, the matriarch of the Smith Family, was currently working at a boiling stove, dressed in a frilly pink apron. She looked up from her saucepan to face Roger.

"Roger, you ate all the cream cheese two days ago! I tried to buy more when I went shopping but you also ate all my change!" Francine explained.

"I was worried I had a nickel deficiency!" Roger whined defensively, throwing his fists to his hips and stamping his foot. "And who uses change at the store anyways! Get a damn card already!"

"I have a card!" Francine said, and she reached behind her back to reveal it. It was made from construction paper, and had a very crude drawing of Francine in crayon. "I made it myself!"

Klaus, a former german olympic ski-jumper who was now imprisoned within the body of a fish as the smith family's pet/prisoner, turned to face Roger.

"Ja Roger. You seemed to be increasingly omnivorous in the last few days? That ist vith you?"

Roger sighed and pulled up a chair.

"I dunno, I feel bloated, I'm listless, I'm leaving highly mutagenic puddles everywhere, I'm tired..."

"Vait! VHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I'm leaving mutagenic puddles everywhere? I assume that's what you meant even though it's not LITERALLY the last thing I said before you said 'Vhat did you say', it's just clearly that's the most unusual..."

"Yes, that's what he meant!" Francine snapped in alarm. "Roger, if you've left puddles of extra terrestrial goo all over my house I will slit you from mouth to anus and wear you like a JACKET!" Francine snapped, holding up a steak knife.

"Relax Franny. I make sure to collect the goo and I always dispose of it in a safe location that nobody would ever thing to look for a million years."

* * *

"What do you think it is?"

Steve Smith, the youngest child of the Smith Household, stood outside a hole in his backyard with his three friends, Snot, Toshi and Barry. The hole was deep and glowing, and made a pulsating noise.

"Maybe it's candy!" Barry shouted. Barry was morbidly obese and mentally slow, so his opinion was rendered worthless.

"Maybe it's you're dad's C.I.A. stuff!" Snot suggested.

 _"Perhaps it's something to do with your alien?"_ Toshi muttered in japanese.

"Toshi's right." Steve said, not understand a word Toshi had said. "Somebody SHOULD go down and look."

 _"That's not what I said."_ Toshi said indignantly.

"Toshi, no, I won't let you go down there alone!" Steve insisted. "Take Snot with you!"

"Yeah, take...wait! WHAT?" Snot protested, but Barry had somehow snuck behind both him and Toshi, and shoved them both into hole.

They fell with a shriek, and landed with massive splash.

"Ewe! This is disgusting!" Snot's voice rang from beneath the earth.

"Snot! What's down there?" Steve asked. This provoked a grumble from beneath the hole.

"It's candy Steve. Lots and lots of candy." Snot bellowed sarcastically. This sparked a glimmer of joy in Barry's eyes.

"Candy?" He muttered. In sheer jubilation, he grabbed Steve by the shoulders, and lifted him of the ground, the scrawny boy no match for Barry's might. "CANDY STEVE! THERE'S CANDY!"

And with that, Barry jumped down the hole, dragging Steve with him. There was a sickening splash.

 _"Dumbass!"_ Toshi muttered.

* * *

"So Franny, in short, their is no way that anybody would ever ever EVER accidentally stumble across my mutagenic excretions." Roger explained firmly. Francine and Klaus were smiling and nodding along.

"Wow. I vasn't convinced at first, but the way Roger spelt it out just made so much sense." Klaus nodded.

"I agree. For once, I think Roger knows what he's talking about." Francine smiled, satisfied with Roger's answer.

Just then, Steve and his three friends barged into the kitchen through the back door, covered in pulsating blue slime.

"ROGER!" Francine snapped, instantly turning to the disguised alien, who threw his arms up in terror and hid under the table in terror. Francine turned back to the boys. She knelt down, grabbed a kitchen towel and placed it on Steve's shoulder, then placed her hand on Steve, careful not to touch the slime.

"Boys, let's get you cleaned up. Stand in the garden, I'll fire up the hose."

While Francine herded the boys out of the kitchen, Klaus swam to the edge of his bowl and looked down at Roger, still cowering under the table.

"So, Roger, tell me, is Steve going to die?" Klaus asked.

Roger poked his head out from beneath the table.

"That depends, do you have Francine's level of maternal attachment to Steve?"

"No."

"Then yes! It's very likely he will die!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Geeking Out  
Episode 2**

* * *

That night, Steve's friends had all gone home to their separate houses. Steve was laying in his room, in his ninja turtle pyjamas, and reading Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban. It was a real page turner.

Suddenly there was a knock at his door, and Stan Smith, Steve's father and the patriarch of the Smith family barged in.

"Dad..." Steve began to complain, but Stan quickly shut him up.

"Steve, I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway." Stan grunted, his deep, booming voice rumbling and shaking Steve's room. He took one look at Steve's book and frowned.

"Steve, you know I don't permit you to read that garbage outside the hours of 7AM to 8AM!" Stan snapped, snatching the book away and throwing it on Steve's desk.

"Hey, I was reading that!" Steve protested.

"Not anymore! Now, you may read Ronald Reagan's autobiography, or, if you are so inclined, this newspaper from 1989 detailing the victory of the Pistons in the NBA Championship." Stan said. Steve huffed, and begrudgingly began to inch towards the newspaper, hoping there may be a Sudoku puzzle or something.

Stan turned to leave, but turned his head around to speak with Steve again.

"And, and by the way, I'm doing some minor electrical work so all the electricity in the upstairs is gonna shut down...now!"

Steve's lamp went dark, thrusting the room into pitch darkness.

"Night son!" Stan said with a self satisfied smile, and then left.

Steve sighed, and looked at the paper. It was too dark to see anything. Steve then looked at the lamp. Unbeknownst to Steve, his eyes began to glow green, and the lamp sprung back to life.

"Gah!" Steve said in shock, the lamp's light surprising him. He got out of bed, wondering if the electrics had been reactivated, but he went to the hall and tried a light switch. Nothing. He looked back at his lamp and blinked. It had switched off. He blinked again, it switched back on again.

He looked at his finger, and pointed to a battery operated robot that sat on his desk. He pointed at the robot, and it sprang to life, its LED lights blinking and its arms and head whirring around. Steve was elated. He pointed to his alarm clock, and to his shock, a bolt of blue lightning sprang from his finger and hit the clock, blasting it to bits.

Steve yelled in shock.

 **"STEVE!"** Stan's voice rang from downstairs. **"SHUT THE HELL UP!"**

* * *

The very next day, Steve met up with his friends behind the school at the dumpsters. It was the only place they were allowed privacy.

"Guys, I don't know about you, but something weird is going on!" Steve said, and the three boys nodded.

"Oh god, he can do it too!" Snot said to Toshi and Barry. Barry stared blankly into space, but Toshi nodded worriedly.

"Wait, something happened to you guys too?" Steve asked, worriedly. Toshi nodded.

 _"Look!"_ He said. He opened his palm and thrust his hand out to a nearby trashcan. Toshi's eyes glowed green, and the trash can began to levitate off the ground. Then Toshi balled up his fist, and the trash can crumbled into a small metallic orb.

"Wow! I wonder if I can do that!" Steve grinned with delight. He imitated Toshi, and thrust his palm out to a dumpster. Unlike Toshi, lighting flew from Steve's hand, and hit the dumpster, blasting a burning, black dent into the side.

"Woah..." Snot and Barry said in unison.

"Barry, what can you do?" Snot asked.

"It's really cool!" Barry grinned. He looked up at the roof of the school, and saw a ball lodged on the roof. His eyes began to shine green, and Barry's body began to expand. He grew taller, at first by inches, and then by feet, and soon he was standing two stories tall. A giant Barry! He plucked the ball off the roof, and began to shrink back down.

"Barry, that was incredible!" Steve gushed, and Toshi and Snot nodded in agreement. Barry blushed, and made the "Oh stop" motion with his hand.

 _"That only leaves Snot."_ Said Toshi. The three boys looked at Snot. Snot's eyes glowed green, and his body began to warp. It transformed into a green, shapeless mass, and then reformed, into an exact duplicate of Steve.

"What do you think?" Said Snot-as-Steve, his voice being a perfect imitation of Steve's.

"Woah, Snot, you can transform into other people?" Steve said. Snot-as-Steve smiled.

"Not just people." He said, as he transformed into a shapeless mass again, and then reformed as a German Shepherd. "I think I can turn into anything?" Snot said, his voice sounding normal as a dog.

 _"Can you imitate our powers?"_ Toshi asked, looking at his own hands.

"Toshi is right. Can you turn into a girl?" Steve said, with a perverted grin.

"Yes, but I'm not going to." Said Dog-Snot. Dog-Snot looked at his own private parts. "Now if you'll excuse me, I wish to put this power to it's full potential."

"Wait guys, Snot's ability to self-philat is all well and good, but we NEED to experiment here. I mean, what if it's only temporary?"

"What if it's dangerous?" Barry added.

 _"What if it turns us into blood thirsty killers?"_ Toshi added.

"I say, we meet back hear after school and we talk long and hard about these powers, okay?" Steve said. The boys nodded, and then the bell rang. Steve, Toshi and Barry began to head back to class, but Dog-Snot didn't move. Steve turned back to him.

"Snotters, aren't you coming?"

But Dog-Snot was already nose deep in his own privates, licking away.

"In a minute Steve." Dog-Snot muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Geeking Out  
Episode 3**

* * *

The final bell rang, and Steve and Toshi left math class to meet up with Snot and Barry. Neither boy could properly focus on the class. They were too preoccupied by the prospect of ACTUAL superpowers.

Steve had noticed his phone was on 2% charge in the middle of class, and for his first experiment, he wanted to see if he could charge his phone with his new electrical powers. He pressed the tip of his finger against the charging port, and to his joy, it actually worked. Toshi saw it and gave him a thumbs up of approval.

The two met up with Snot and Barry, and the four were eager to head to Snot's house and test their powers out.

"Hey Steve, you gotta minute?"

The four boys stopped and turned around, to see Debbie Hyman, Steve's ex-girlfriend. Debbie was a goth, except today she wasn't wearing her typical purple dress. She was wearing a purple blouse, and black blazer. Debbie had apparently signed up as a lawyer for student court, with the express purpose of sending students to the chair. And it seemed her new style of dress made her look even fatter than before, either that or Debbie HAD legitimately put on weight.

"Oh, Debbie...what's up?" Steve said, scratching the back of his head.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go grab dinner tonight?" Debbie offered in a friendly manner. Steve cringed.

"Oh Debbie, I mean I'm flattered...and normally I'd love too, but...I've already made plans." Steve said, nodding to Snot and the others. Debbie smiled.

"It's fine Steve, I understand." Debbie smiled, and walked off. Steve let out of breath of relief when she left.

"Steve, I've never seen you turn down boob before..." Snot said in utter astonishment.

"Are you sick?" Barry yelled, in childish worry.

"Nah, I'm just eager to test out these new powers, aren't you?" Steve said. He balled up his fists, and let a small bolt of electricity pass through them. "I am feeling POSTIVE right now."

Toshi used his telekinesis to take control of Steve's hand, and slapped Steve across the face.

"Alright Tosh...I deserved that one." Steve said. "C'mon, let's go to Snot's house."

* * *

Snot's house was abandoned; his mother wouldn't be back for another couple of hours from her nursing job. The quartet of friends was in the backyard, which was littered with broken appliances, piles of lumber, and other assorted crap.

 _"Steve, I can't believe you blew off Debbie to stand in a pile of crap?"_ Toshi muttered.

"That's right Toshi. It's gonna be great to cut loose. Snot, what can we smash first?" Steve smiled excitedly.

"Pick whatever you like," Said Snot. He began the sentence with a smile, but soon slouched over and sighed. "This stuff isn't even mine. People just dump crap in my yard."

"Sweet!" Steve smiled. He rubbed his hands together, and looked at a busted refrigerator. He stuck his palm out, and fired a bolt of blue coloured lightning. It blasted the fridge to smithereens.

Steve and his friends all whooped and clapped. Steve turned to Toshi.

"Toshi, throw that oven into the air." Steve grinned excitedly. Toshi nodded and focused his powers on an old trashed oven, and using his telekinesis, launched the oven into the air. Steve raised his fist up and blasted the oven with lighting, causing it to explode.

They boys cheered.

"I wanna try!" Barry said. His eyes flashed green, and his body swelled to a gigantic size. Within minutes, he stood two stories tall, and was as tall as Snot's house. He noticed a massive pile of planks, and picked them up with ease. He lifted the massive planks over his head, and threw them two the floor. But Barry's aim was off, and the planks were rocketing towards Steve, Toshi and Snot.

Toshi used his powers to hold the planks in place, but the tremendous weight of so many objects caused Toshi to strain. He broke out in a sweat and his heels were being pushed into the earth.

"Toshi, hold them steady!" Snot said. "Steve, throw me!"

Snot transformed into a baseball, and Steve picked him up and hurled Baseball-Snot at the planks. Baseball-Snot transformed into a spinning buzzsaw, and sliced straight threw the planks, causing them to fall harmlessly on both sides of Steve and Toshi. Buzzsaw-Snot transformed back into his human form, and was still flying into the air due to momentum. He was caught safely by Barry's humungous paw, and Barry cradled Snot as he shrunk back down.

"Guys, we are AWESOME!" Snot shouted in delight as he hoped out of Barry's arms.

"I know!" Steve grinned. "This is amazing! This is phenomenal!"

 _"I sense opportunity for profit and wenches."_ Toshi grinned.

The boy's sense of joy was interrupted by the sound of police sirens. Steve turned around.

"What's that?"

Snot sighed.

"It's the police. Steve, this is the poor neighbourhood. It's basically The Purge." Snot sighed. He looked at his feet. He really didn't like that he lived in this area.

"Snot, this is perfect!" Steve grinned.

"Huh, what do you mean?" Snot asked.

"Guys, we have SUPERPOWERS! And who else have superpowers?"

There was a moment of silence amongst the boys, before Snot piped up.

"SuperHEROES!"

Barry threw up his arms in joy. "Let's be superheroes!"

Snot, Barry and Toshi started to run off, before Steve stopped them.

"Wait, before we run off..." Steve said, as he turned to look off into the distance, listening to the police sirens. "We're gonna need a change of clothes!"


End file.
